All about the never ending spin-cycle…and the little pauses in between.
Last night the PVR was acting up and it took an actual three hours to finally catch up on my TV and watch the Survivor finale and wrap up show – I may as well have just watched it live. GAH!!!! I hate it when that happens. Some question why I still watch Survivor – I’m a bit of an escapist and sometimes overly confident (add a dash of egotistical, judgemental and crazy and voila!) – I think I have quite the social game and am really, really good at puzzles so I think that I would totally make it to the final four provided I didn’t have to eat any weird fetus, maggot or some kind of larvae. My paranoid self has just realized that actually writing this may actually tip off Jeff Probst and crew to include the Survivor Food Eating Challenge when I compete…one day….once I’ve actually applied….yikes!!!
I digress. Mr. Niceguy kept telling me that it was time for bed as I kept nodding off but no, I wouldn’t have it. I absolutely needed to see who would win and quite frankly, after a long day of cooking, cleaning, gardening, repairing, washing, and homework together with, “Mommy, I want this” and “Mommy, the 4 year old is bothering me” and “Mommy, I can’t find my [insert any ridiculously tiny toy that one would need binocular attachments and some kind of sonar or laser tracking device to find]” – it was my down time. Thankfully, the phone beeps from a very late night round of texting from my other mommy friends who were obviously in the same boat jolted me awake and I was able to watch to the end…but no downtime ever takes place without exacting some form of payment, a lesson I would come to learn again…
7:00am – alarm goes off. I was so tired that I didn’t hit the snooze like I often do but instead, turned it right off. And all of a sudden, there I was, fascinator on, gorgeous two-piece and nude coloured shoes…no wait, that’s Kate Middleton. What’s she doing here? Oh my goodness, she’s giving me advice about how to host an outdoor party…how grand. Wait, I must take notes and listen closely…what’s that? She’s now talking about what to do when I’ve stepped in what?? And how to get rid of the stench??? I can’t pay attention to this! Why am I even thinking of arranging this garden party? How did I get here? Oh no…it was that second dinner I had at midnight! That’s right…I keep forgetting I’m not 20 anymore!! Speaking of food…
Oh my God! 8:15am!!! And Mr. Niceguy is still sleeping too! We jump out of bed and being the nice guy that he is, Mr. Niceguy makes the boys’ lunch and I decide I can’t leave the house looking like I just woke up and must do something about the embossed sheet marks on my face. So I scrubbed, moisturized and put on my makeup but unfortunately…no go. The sunglasses will have to cover my cheeks and nevermind, I’m really pressed for time!! Quick, grab jean cut offs from yesterday…it was so warm yesterday…argh…quit daydreaming…and pull a beachy look like Gisele!
Finally at school. Only I’ve just noticed that it’s 11 degrees and one glimpse at myself in the school glass doors and I realize, perhaps today is not the day to try and emulate Gisele…oh, and more disheartening still, the only thing I have in common with Gisele are the freckles on my face. A walk through the doors would add yet one more disappointment…pizza day. Why couldn’t I have just checked the school calendar before heading out of the house??!!
So to wrap up, I’m essentially paying for a not-so-exciting-night full of after hour binge eating, TV watching and basically TRYING to carve out some ME time. WHY IS THE UNIVERSE PUNISHING ME???!!!
I decide that I can’t face the rest of my day without my signature latte and that’s when I ran into a couple of women – other mom friends from school – one of whom is a very hip and cool marketing genius while the other, our local SJP with a downtown boutique full of the latest fashions. Ever the shallow individual, all I could think was I hope I don’t get judged for my lack of fashion sense re: the t-shirt, cut offs and my signature Converse All Stars, and that the sheet marks had finally disappeared from my face (I swear if someone invents a cheek plumper similar to that instant lip plumper lip gloss that one can simply buy off the counter, I’M ALL IN!!!)
Trying to sheepishly order my coffee and avoid all eye contact to no avail, I was approached and greeted ever so graciously by them both…obviously ignoring my dishevelled and insane state. And you know what? I got praised for my writing and praised for a recent outfit I had pulled together for a last minute event and I was on cloud nine! For just a moment, my insane cycle had been broken. For just a moment, it was all about me. Beaming, I thanked them both for their compliments, grabbed my latte and walked to my car…and then promptly dribbled coffee all the way down my shirt.